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Trying to make sense of life and to learn living it happily.

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Why We Need To Add Happiness To School Curriculum


Art by ~2Happy
Young people graduate from school equipped to solve mathematical equations, arrange chemical experiments, and write essays. But often they graduate to the adult life not equipped with skills that will help them deal with everyday struggles, emotions, and difficulties. They are not equipped to be happy individuals.

Happiness is arguably the ultimate meaning of our life. Is there anything we want more for our kids than to be happy? If given a choice, would a parent prefer that her child knows capital cities of all countries or knows how to be a happy person? The ultimate purpose of the traditional academic education is to instill children with knowledge needed for for their future careers. But it does not teach kids the good attitude to deal with the many future personal experiences that make up our life. Inner well-being and peace are as crucial and necessary as the academic skills. It does not make sense to pay no attention to the development of happiness skills.

In 2011, United Kingdom published a report that confirms that lots of kids face serious emotional problems by the time they graduate school. Based on UK statistics, which probably does not differ too much from the situation in the USA, by the time an average class of 30 young people reach their 16th birthdays:
  • 10 of them will have witnessed their parents separate
  • 3 will have suffered from mental health problems
  • 8 will have experienced severe physical violence, sexual abuse or neglect
  • 3 will be living in a step family
  • 1 will have experienced the death of a parent
  • 7 will report having been bullied.
Relate (a leading provider of counseling, therapy, and education in UK)  cites research evidence which shows that emotional and mental health problems developed in childhood and adolescence go on to affect adults later in life. The resulting problems with poor emotional adjustment and general feelings of unhappiness are bad enough. But that is not all the consequences our kids are facing. Unhappiness and emotional imbalance can cause young people to do badly in exams or drop out of education altogether, with consequent damage to their long-term employment prospects and health. For more on the report, see http://www.relate.org.uk/about-us/media-centre/press-releases/2013/12/11/relate-calls-statutory-provision-counselling-schools.

I agree with Relate's specialist that schools are the best places to reach young people, and early intervention is effective. But I believe that the most effective solution is prevention. Adding the subject of happiness to school curriculum can help children better deal with their issues, and develop coping mechanisms for the future.

Usually, the kids get emotional guidance and character building from interacting with families and friends. As parents, we always try our hardest to raise good people: continuously pass our wisdom to our kids, indoctrinate our values to them, tell them what is good and what is bad, teach them manners, help them with the choice of profession and life partner (if they let us). But do we teach them how to be happy, joyful, grateful, peaceful? Do we live our lives with contentment and moderation, leading our children by example? Parents are people too, and not all of us are happy ourselves. Unfortunately, we do not always have the time, the vision or the skills to instill the basics of happiness into our children. So both the adults and the kids go about the pursuit of happiness by the trial and error method.

There are more and more politicians, organizations and individuals who believe that happiness skills can be learned and should be included in traditional educations. On his Facebook page, the Dalai Lama says that education is the proper way to promote compassion, piece of mind and tolerance in society, which bring a sense of confidence and reduce stress and anxiety (https://www.facebook.com/DalaiLama) . England requested that schools and colleges promote wellbeing to students (http://www.optimus-education.com/can-schools-promote-happiness). The US army uses classes developed by the "Authentic Happiness" program at the University of Pennsylvania to increase resilience levels of the troops (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1552).

School is the place where our kids grow up, and where they are formed as individuals as much as they are at home. The school system has the infrastructure for influencing entire generations, letting out better adjusted and happier people. Unfortunately, schools spend most of their efforts on achieving high test results and good rankings. There is little emphasis on personal or emotional development. I believe happiness skills are among some of the most important skills a person possesses. To me it is obvious that the school system must help develop happiness skills as much as literacy skills in all children. I would like to see USA schools and schools all over the world to add happiness lessons to their curricula and deliver it to every kid. It will make for better adults and for better societies, and ultimately, for better world.

To see this happen, I plan to open an organization to raise public support, develop happiness curriculum and promote it to schools and departments of education in the US and possibly, worldwide. 

If you think this idea is important and worthwhile, and you would like to help, please contact me. I am looking for anyone who can contribute their skills, knowledge, and advice in the fields of not-for-profit organizations, school curricula, marketing, public relations, legal aspects and more!

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Friday, October 12, 2012

Happiness "How To": Get Your Priorities Straight



art by ~JenRoyce

Think about all the major ideas that you have about happiness, about success, about the meaning of your life.
Consider all the factors that are important to you, like money, success, children, nature, etc., some of which I explored in earlier posts: http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2012/09/exploring-happiness-pre-requisites_30.html, http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2012/09/exploring-happiness-pre-requisites.html, http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2012/08/children-and-happiness.html.
  
Add or subtract to create a list of things you are ready to dedicate your life to. Weigh in whether you can be happy with less (see previous post "Adjust Your Expectations": http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2012/10/happiness-how-to-adjust-your.html).

Then create a priority list for your life.

art by ~addicted-to-memories

Include only the most important goals you want to achieve in life, the end goals, for example, “being happy”, “enjoying the family”, “earning the living by doing what I like”, “dedicating more time to (fill in the blank)”. 
List the most important priorities first.

To get some perspective, let's consider what we do with the lifetime we are granted. Whatever we do in life: produce, eat, sleep, travel, work, quarrel, love, check emails, raise kids, exercise, and anything and everything else, we do it in exchange for our life. For example, during a day of work we produced 5 chairs, or contributed to a project for improving a banking system, or wrote an article, or baked cupcakes. We exchanged eight hours of our life for it. If you love what you produce, it may be worth it. If you do not really care and just wait for the day to be over, then you lose these hours of your life, forever.  

The priority list is a reminder of what is truly important for you. Review your life priority list every morning and decide what you are going to work on today.This way you will see how much time in your life you waste on non-essential things like checking updates on computer or bickering with close people over minor issues.  If you find yourself doing something opposite to your life-goals, such as getting angry at the world for something, getting stuck at a meaningless joyless job or spending hours in front of TV, then think again what is most important. 

Do not let non-essentials take away your time and energy from something more important, like enjoying your family, achieving something meaningful, being happy.

art by ~messofmemoriesxX

Remember that our time is finite. Would you like to endure the life or enjoy it? Waste it on something meaningless or celebrate it?

 It is probably impossible to fill each moment with deep meaning and spend all the time on working exclusively toward the big goals. As always, everything is good in moderation. But it is necessary to know what your priorities are, and live accordingly.

It is a life-long process. Do not get discouraged if you find yourself sidetracked. Work on improving your situation and continue to getting closer to your goals. And always feel satisfied and happy as you get closer to your goals, even if it is little by little.

art by ~cookiesnmilk




Saturday, October 6, 2012

Happiness "How To": Adjust Your Expectations



Some posts on this blog are purely theoretical, discussing what happiness is. Some of them, including this one, are practical guides to becoming a happier person. 

Art by ~smitzphotography

A better car, a more expensive dress, a bigger house will not make you happy for long. Look at the people who have them. They still may be unhappy and want more. We get anxieties and ulcers wishing for more of this and that, wasting our time on worries or envy instead of enjoying what we have.

The less you need to feel good, the easier it is for you to feel happy.

Ask yourself – what can you live with less of?  Less material gain? Fewer cloths maybe? Fewer designer handbags? An older car? Consider non-material values as well. Can you live with less success? Less power?

Some of our dreams and ambitions are unreasonable and unnecessary. Of course, very ambitious and tenacious people who do not settle for less may achieve great success. That does not mean they are happy. They need to dedicate a lot of time and energy to their goals and endure a lot of stress and disappointments on the way. And none of it guarantees that they emerge happy once they finally achieve their great ambitions. 

You should not feel like a quitter if you are happy and content with less than what is possible. Because truly it is impossible to gain it all. Whatever we have, there will always be more out there – better, bigger, newer, more popular. 

Also, understand clearly that a lot of your goals will not lead to happiness. They will lead to other things. For example, if you would like to be rich, the goal may be to live comfortably, to be free, to help other people. If you would like to improve your appearance, the goal may be to be popular, or to look like your favorite celebrity. If you would like to be powerful, the goal may be to be able to change the system, or to manage others. But not to be happy. We do not need any of the above to be happy. 

Realize that you can be happy with less.

Adjust your expectations. Become content. Start enjoying having less.

Exercise

When you pass by storefront window displays, look at the nice things in there and ask yourself (and do not forget to ask your child) – can I live without it and still be happy? If you can (of course you can!), feel the lightness of not needing certain things to be a happy person. Feel that possessions have no power over your happiness. Feel that you have the power over your own happiness. 

When you watch a political debate or hear about celebrities, ask yourself – can I be happy if I am not a powerful politician or a famous celebrity? Can I be happy if I will never be rich? If you know you can, congratulate yourself!   

Start enjoying your life and hold on to this feeling of happiness with less.